


B is for "Because I can't do it anymore!"

by Lysippe



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 18:12:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5258654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lysippe/pseuds/Lysippe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the second in a series of alphabet ficlets I wrote from prompts: at least one per letter of the alphabet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	B is for "Because I can't do it anymore!"

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure, the complete prompt is as follows: “Because! I can’t do it anymore, I can’t make myself love you. No matter how much I want to, my head it’s - it just won’t let me,” she pleaded.“ 
> 
> I tweaked the wording of this one veeeeeeeery slightly, primarily to make it fit into its place in the story.

“Because! I can’t do it anymore, I can’t make myself love you. No matter how much I want to, my head it’s - it just won’t let me.”

It wasn’t like Johanna had been expecting to be greeted by anything in particular when she opened the door to their compartment, but walking right into a full rehearsal of Katniss’ inner - now very much outer as well - monologue still came as somewhat of a surprise to her. 

As she walked into the room, making as little noise as possible, Johanna found Katniss standing in front of the bathroom mirror, brows furrowed and eyes closed. She watched as Katniss ran her hands roughly through her hair, pulling strands out of what was left of her braid. Apparently she had been at this for a while.

“You know your reflection isn’t a real girl, right? It can’t respond.” Johanna watched with immense gratification as her roommate spun around, her cheeks flushing at having been caught.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Katniss said accusingly.

“Well, you looked like you were pretty deep in conversation. I didn’t want to interrupt,” Johanna said with mock seriousness.

“I was just…”

“Yes?” Johanna drawled, drawing the word out lazily as she leaned against the door frame lazily. It occurred to her somewhat belatedly that she could have perhaps been a tiny bit more sympathetic, but she didn’t get the chance to change her tune.

“You know what? It’s none of your business what I was doing,” Katniss snapped, shoving her way past Johanna and out of the bathroom.

Undeterred, Johanna followed her back into the bedroom, casually stretching out on Katniss’ bed. “So who can’t you make yourself love?” she asked innocently.

“I already told you, it’s none of your business,” Katniss said brusquely, fingers deftly re-doing her braid.

“Sure,” Johanna agreed. “But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to know all the sordid details of your aggravatingly perfect little love triangle.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to know,” Katniss said. She made a small movement towards her bed, but thought better of it when she remembered that Johanna had taken up residence there for the time being. 

“You should tell me anyway,” Johanna persisted.

“Why? So you can make fun of me some more?”

“No, brainless,” Johanna sighed dramatically. “So I can beat them up.”

“Why would you beat them up?” Katniss asked.

“For upsetting you, stupid,” Johanna said, clearly under the impression that her logic was not only transparent, but foolproof.

“That really isn’t necessary,” Katniss said, but she couldn’t help smiling slightly at the thought of Johanna wailing on someone for upsetting her. Then, after a moment, she sat down beside Johanna, close enough to feel the heat radiating off the smaller woman’s body, but not touching. “Thanks anyway, though.”

“For what?” Johanna asked.

“No one’s ever offered to beat someone up on my behalf before,” Katniss said, smiling slightly.

“Did I say it was on your behalf? Maybe I just really want to hit someone.”

“I’m sure you do. But you could hit anyone, no need to direct your anger that way.”

“So, which one isn’t the lucky guy? Peeta, or Gale?” Johanna asked, leaning in and bumping Katniss’ shoulder just a little too roughly. 

Katniss said nothing.

“Come on,” Johanna encouraged. “You afraid of a little girl talk?”

“Girl talk? With  _you_?” Katniss asked incredulously. 

“Last time I looked, I have all the necessary parts,” Johanna said, pulling the collar of her shirt out and peering down. “Yup, still there.”

Katniss rolled her eyes. “Both of them,” she said flatly.

“What?”

“Both of them aren’t the lucky guy, as you put it. I chose, and I choose neither.”

Johanna was taken aback by the decisiveness in her roommate’s voice. Katniss, who had put off making this decision for so long, who had hemmed and hawed and driven everyone around her crazy with her abject inability to make up her goddamn mind, had taken a question with two possible answers, and chosen none of the above.

“Well, good. You’re too good for both of them anyway.”

“Yeah?” Katniss said, glancing at Johanna, quite uncertain how to handle the unexpected compliment.

“Yeah. You could do way better,” Johanna said firmly.

“Got any suggestions?” Katniss asked wryly. “Because everyone else seems to have pretty strong opinions on my love life.”

“Nah. You’re not a little kid, brainless, even if you act like one. You gotta make up your own damn mind. Everyone else can go fuck themselves.”

Katniss smiled slightly. For the first time since they had come out of the arena, Johanna was lapsing back into her old, confidently arrogant self, and it was kind of nice. She was certainly better company this way. 

“So not even a single suggestion?”

“Not a one,” Johanna shrugged.

“What about you?” Katniss asked suddenly.

“I’m not looking for suggestions, either, thanks.” 

“No, I mean… what about you, as a suggestion… for me?” Katniss forced the words out quickly, before her confidence failed her. This was a bad idea. A very bad idea. Johanna didn’t even like her. She tolerated her most of the time, but that wasn’t exactly a strong basis for a relationship, as Johanna was probably about to tell her.

To Katniss’ surprise, however, Johanna didn’t laugh at her. She didn’t roll her eyes, or call her stupid, or even flat-out reject the idea. Instead, a thoughtful expression crossed Johanna’s face, and she sat in silence for a minute, before turning to look at Katniss and nodding.

“Yeah. I think I could go for that.”


End file.
